Blog Moved

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www.DiamondsAndWine.Blogspot.com

Chapter 1

My life changed with a very simple truth I realized.  This truth was that I had a story and my story mattered.  My story may never grace the pages or Time Magazine or be featured on Good Morning America but it doesn’t make it any less important.  

All too often somewhere along the way we decide that our story doesn’t matter.  When I met Penny she reminded me daily that my story mattered.  There were places in my life that I had walked in guilt and shame, in these places she was quick to remind me that it was part of my story.  When I contemplated this idea at first it didn’t make sense in my brain.  Why in the world would the mistakes I had made OVER and OVER in my life be worthy of anything but shame and guilt?  I will tell you why, because the road I walked, the girl I was would only further who I would become. Who I am now.  

I am not the girl I used to be and for that I am SO grateful.  I still am able to keep those places of Lulee that set me apart, that make me who God has intended me to be.  There are also those places that have been kept in darkness, hidden in a closet for no one to see.  They are my secrets, my shame, my wounds.  Here’s the problem with that, until I decided to open the door and turn on the light those hidden places only continued to haunt me.  What would they think if they knew?  What would happen if those places were exposed?  Would I be ok?  Could I hold it together or would it ultimately break me?  When we turn on the lights and faithfully walk through these wounds knowing that God wants us to bring them to his feet, our story begins to take shape.  It will involve brokenness, but that is the desire of the King’s heart; that we come to Him with a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17).  It took for this Penny girl to come along and call out those places that I realized my story mattered.  Now that my story matters I’m unafraid to shout it from the rooftops.  God calls us to love Him and to love His people.  When I tell my story,  someone else along the way is bound to say, “ME TOO.”  The lights turn on and redemption is right around the corner.

“A true friend is someone who knows 

ALL about you and still chooses to love you.”

My story is about a girl who spent the first 28 years of her life seeking love.  A girl that always wanted to be enough to be chosen.  A girl constantly striving for greatness, but no award, no accolade ever seemed enough.  This girl spent her whole life living for the validation of finite man.  

This heart has been broken more times that her strong prideful heart cares to admit.  With every unmet expectation there was a brick laid in the wall that was being built around her heart.  This heart was cold, sharp, but more than anything wounded beyond her own comprehension.

This story is of brokenness, of pride, or redemption, a story about a girl who finally allowed this man called Jesus to captivate her heart and for her to be captivated by His.  

My name is Lulee, I grew up in the truth.  The problem was I looked everywhere but the cross for LOVE, VALIDATION, SUCCESS, TRUTH, HONOR, and AFFIRMATION.  

What parts of your journey have kept your story in the dark?  What Penny’s need to be invited into your life to call out your best? There’s a stage beckoning you to sing and dance, a podium, waiting for your profound words, and a challenge that will require everything, but be worth more than anything.  YOUR STORY MATTERS, take the risk…Go ahead, turn on the light.

Somebody Has to Win…

This blog was birthed from the desires of two friends who love to write and in our 5 months of friendship have gone to places that friendships that have spanned a lifetime have never gone.  We have stories, we have laughter, we have tears that we want to share.  We have been gifted with a friendship that many could wait an entire lifetime for and might never find. 

Pic Needs No Caption...

 

Penny here: I wonder how many of us can truly say “winning really doesn’t matter.”  I defy any lad or lady who would arrogantly boast they’ve no bone of competitiveness.  Whether we like it or not, somebody has to win.  We have been conditioned to believe that in any given activity there must be a system of status, a ladder of success, a wager of ability. Peaceful, fair game play…Rubbish! Nothing more than an exaggerated  urban myth (when the word urban myth dribbles out of Penny’s mouth you know it’s untrue)! Such proved true in a recent duel….somebody had to win.

Lulee here: I will set the scene for you; two grown women in company with ankle-biters, soccer moms, religious gamers and some creepy old man lurkers.  This sadly happened to be on a Friday night at the local Family Fun Center (every suburbia has one, ie. Go-Carts, Mini Golf, Batting Cages and the unforgiving token machine in the Arcade)  It was to be a duel!!!  The duel took place inside the Arcade….$10 in tokens and 30 minutes to kill.  Penny needed redemption! (she is flaring her nostrils as I type, apparently the verbiage re-stoked the competitive flame.)  Needless to say after two games of air hockey (Penny won 2 of 2 game).  What can I say it doesn’t take much skill or wit to slam a little puck around.  Lu down 2-0!!!  We then moved to Ski-Ball, Lu back in the game; overall score 2-1.  Then came the triumphant victory (not even Lance Armstrong could contend with this win).  We proceeded to the machine that the most skilled of athletes can prove victorious…shooting pint size basketballs into an even smaller hoop.  Keep in mind, the score is 2-1 with 10 minutes more to kill….in the best of 3 games the shootout was on!!!  The first two games were played with the right hand.  Game 1:  Penny 20, Lulee 47!!!  Overall Score 2-2.  Game 2: 50-46 Penny squeaks by, what can I say my uber stylish necklace was getting in the way.  Overall Score 3-2.  Game 3 is to be played with the left hand….IT WAS A BLOWOUT FOLKS!!!!  57-20….So if you are following along with the math we have tie!!!  Problem is that our time is up, we must go.  There must be a winner you say!!!  That’s what I thought too, but the challenger felt very content with the tie….

Penny here:  Now, a good contender knows when to wisely decline a continuous taunting invite. Walking home with a tie, only served to remind Lulee of her inability to fully take hold of victory.  Did she win a few measly events?  Of course, but her lack of skill kept her from triumphantly marching up the winners podium with medal in hand.  Side note: this goes out to all the “older siblings” you know who you are. Fate landed you a place in the birth order that infused your DNA with relentless “taunting.” TAUNTING! TAUNTING! TAUNTING!  It drives even the most disciplined younger sibling to maddening acts of rivalry!  The actual act of losing is not what gets us, oh no, it’s the TAUNTING that sends us over!  ” really, she says, is that all you’ve got?  Your A-game huh?”  ”Oh poor thing, do you need one more chance to prove yourself?”  ”It’s Ok, I’m just better, at most things than you are.”  Mind you,  we love those that challenge us, however I could do with a few less taunts this side of heaven!

LuLee: “Penny, perhaps you should have chosen a different friend.”

Penny:  ”Hey, this is my turn to write fathead.”  Excuse me, continuing onward.  Where was I, ah, yes, a good contender knows when to honorably bow out.  Consider, Oprah for instance, just when you thought she was going to overthrow the pope, and rewrite the constitution she resigned as T.V’s most sought after purveyor of counsel. Brilliant. Contemplated, intentional, logical Brilliance. So I, like Oprah, with a stroke of ingeniousness walk away from the battle, knowing that in the end, my consecrated control will only create uninhibited angst within the heart of my contender. Might I remind you, Physical strength is only half the battle of winning, the keen mind valiantly takes the weight of the fight.  

I’d like to pose a question, a statement of sorts.  Is it wrong to want to win? In a ‘Politically Correct’ Stricken Society do we have the ability to really fight for a win, or is that just taboo, unsportsmanlike, dishonorable?  Must we be resigned to only quietly deny any competition for fear of creating animosity? Competition is what makes us desire, a win is the fruit of hard work, (or unbiased luck in my case)  Competition sparks, calls out if you will, greatness.  We surround ourselves with great people, so that in our journey, filled with laughter, joy, sorrow, tears, triumph, and challenge, we are able to put to the test our abilities as humans.  Competition you see is so so very useful, but more dramatically, vital.  It calls out our best, (even when our best in that moment is left handed shots from a puny basketball arcade game.)

Each and every last one of us has places in our lives that utterly hamstring us from truly being who God has called us to be.  We want to be better.  We desire to grow in the place of our greatest weakness.  In our attempt at growth we fall, sometimes we fall hard.  Our longing is that when we fall we will stand up better than when we fell.  When we do this alone it’s hard.  We don’t usually tend to fight for our own greatness.  That is why God has given us friendships, we get to feed and water them as we choose.  When we choose to feed and water with love, truth, mercy and compassion we will benefit from a friend that stands beside us and calls out the greatest places of who we are.